


The Voicemail Box of Racetrack Higgins

by 6amtea



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Angst, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Race whump, Sad sad sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:55:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26167510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/6amtea/pseuds/6amtea
Summary: The voicemail box of Racetrack HigginsYou have six new messages! Playing allPress 1 to pausePress 2 to respondPress 3 to delete all messages
Relationships: David Jacobs/Jack Kelly, Spot Conlon/Racetrack Higgins
Comments: 20
Kudos: 60





	The Voicemail Box of Racetrack Higgins

_April 16, 2017_

_10:24 pm_

_From: Spottie_

_Race, I’m so sorry. It was unfair of me to be upset about you not telling me and I didn’t even stop to think about how overwhelmed you must have been. I don’t want to be the thing holding you back in life, and if this is what you want, nothing should stop you from getting there. I can’t believe how stupid I was being. I’m just so, so sorry, Tony. Please come home._

  
  


_April 17, 2017_

_3:46 am_

_From: Spottie_

_Sorry for calling you again. I know you must be pretty pissed at me and need some time to think, but I’m just worried about you. I know you can handle yourself and you’re probably just at Jack’s or Albert’s but please call or text or something so I know you’re safe. Just something. Okay, bye._

_April 17, 2017_

_11:09 am_

_From: Spottie_

_Please, please, Tony, just answer the phone. I know you’re mad at me, but no one has seen you since last night and we're all getting really worried. We- we don’t know if you’re safe or not or where you went. I don’t even know if you’re getting these, but please, Tony. I-I love you so much. You have to be okay. You can hate me or leave or anything but I just need to know that you’re safe. Please._

_August 23, 2017_

_5:13 am_

_From: Spottie_

_Hey, Tony. um, i-it’s been four months or so since the, um… the accident, and I just wanted to say happy anniversary. You remember our first date? How we went to the aquarium and you spent the whole time running around with that stupid squid hat you got in the gift shop? I think that was when I knew I loved you. Everyone is doing okay, if you were wondering. Jack and Davey are getting married in november. They almost called it off, Jack didn’t want to do it without you as his best man. I was planning on proposing, you know. I wanted to spend my entire life waking up next to you, making pasta at 2 in the morning with you, watching you dance to christmas music in our living room. I had the ring and everything, just not the courage to ask. Would you have said yes, Tony? I don’t know what I would’ve done if you said no. I couldn’t imagine my life without you, Race. Hell, I_ can’t _imagine my life without you. But it’s just one day at a time. At least that’s what the shrink said. I don’t think she knows anything, really… Tony, why did you have to go? Why did you have to have to pick a fight you know you couldn’t win? Why did you have to go and die in an alley in the cold and alone? I know you couldn’t do anything about it, but why did you leave me Tony? I need you. I love you so, so much, and I- can’t… I can’t deal without you. I can’t deal with Jack calling me at 3 am because he’s worried about the wedding, with Albert crashing on our -my, i mean- couch because the walk to his place is too far. I can’t deal with life without you, Antonio._

_I love you, okay?_

  
  


_October 12, 2017_

_2:56 pm_

_From: Spottie_

_Hey Tony. I just wanted to hear your voice, in the voicemail box. It’s nice. I’ve been okay lately. Not great, y’know, but okay. Albert got a girlfriend. I think you’d like her, she’s a lot of fun. Real reckless, like you. I hope you’re doin’ okay, wherever you are. It better not be boring, you would hate that. The apartment gets real lonely without you. Food isn’t as good, and David can’t make pizza the way you do. Did. I just- I was just calling to say that I love you. And I miss you. You know how I used to say that soulmates aren’t real? Well that’s bullshit, because when you died I think someone ripped my soul out of my body and put into a fucking food processer. Basically, it hurts. It hurts so much, Tony. But I think it’s getting better. I doubt it’ll ever stop hurting, but I think that maybe I won’t cry everytime I think I forgot the sound of your voice, or the smell of your hair. But hey, life moves on, time passes, you stay dead, and I have to find some way to live with that. I think maybe I’ll accept it. Someday. I love you, Race. Bye._

  
  


February 24, 2018

8:34 am

_From: Spottie_

_Happy Birthday, Racer. You would’ve been 27 today. We didn’t have a birthday party, for obvious reasons, but I did take a cupcake to the track. I got some weird looks, just wandering around with a cupcake, but no one said anything. I might have cried a bit, but we don’t need to talk about it. I’ve been doing okay lately. And guess what? You would’ve been an uncle. Jack and Davey adopted a little girl. Oh Tony, she’s so cute. I wish we could have something like that. A kid or two, maybe a house in the suburbs. Anything you want. I just want to live the rest of my life by your side. Life never goes as plans for me, I guess. I’m getting on pretty well without you. We were pretty co-dependent, but I wouldn’t go back and change that, even if it would have saved me some pain. It was just so easy to be around you. You made me the happiest I’ve ever been. And I hope wherever you are, you’re happy too._

_I love you, Tony. Forever and always._

  
  



End file.
